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17

Nov

1. If you have never seen a diamond in the flesh, how can you cut your teeth on wedding rings? And in what movie is that happening? Am I taking this too literally?

2. This is a perfect example of a love/hate music relationship.

3. After hearing this a million times on the radio, I must say…she’s a lot cleaner looking than she sounds.

4. She’s only 16? Wow. Imagine if a 40 year old was singing this song. “I’m not proud of my address…” God, that would be so sad.

5. Nick Longhi, stranger to us, wrote an intriguing commentary on Lorde’s “Royals” on YouTube:

"this song is O.K i guess BUT THE VIDEO IS A FUCKIN A LOAD IF SHIT am i right or am I DAM GENIUS………………….FUCK YEAH I AM 16 YEARS OLD" - Nick Longhi, 16 years old

Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) by Mindy Kaling

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1. Very fast, entertaining read. Laugh out loud funny.

2. If you watch “The Mindy Project,” you can hear Mindy’s voice in your head as you read her book…and it makes it way better because she’s so likable.

3. Reminds me how I felt reading Chuck Klosterman’s “Killing Yourself to Live.” Not sure why. Maybe because it was equally as good and I really really loved that book.

4. After reading about the things Mindy can’t stand, I am certain that she would hate me. I don’t think we would get along, but that doesn’t stop me from liking her.

5. I want to write her a motherly letter (even though I’m younger) that says the following:

Mindy,

Marriage is magical and you are right to believe so. Some people suck, so of course some marriages suck. Yours won’t because you’re picky. Picky will save your life. I’m proud of you for reaching your goals and being famous and likable at the same time. 

Sincerely,

Me

16

Nov

1. Speed 

Dolphin Seafood was speedy. I sit down at a restaurant and it’s like “Okay, I’m here. Where’s the hell is my bread?”  We got our bread, soup, salad VERY quickly.

2. The Experience of Mutilation 
I have never cracked apart a whole lobster before. I may sound like a diva, but this experience isn’t meant for a person like me. Every time I cracked open a new body part, poo juice drizzled out onto my plate. By the end of the meal, my plate was covered in pooey fatty greenish brownish juice and I had only eaten a couple bites of actual lobster meat. It just felt wrong. My lobster died in vein (and constipation).
3. Quality… 
Really cheap food. The soup tasted like canned condensed soup. Salad was kind of like a frozen bag of mixed greens. The ranch dressing was that creamy kind that Outback gives you. Actually, the ranch dressing and the bread were probably the best parts of the meal.
4. A Deal, Kind of 
Original meal was worth $61.00, but we paid $39.00 thanks to Groupon. It’s a good deal…unless you also value the quality of your meal. The drinks were fairly priced at $7.50 per martini. If I could do the whole thing over, I would’ve affordably drank myself to tears.
5. Environment 
The environment was fine, which is my least favorite descriptive word. We were in a good neighborhood (Harvard Square), but at the same time, kids were stomping around and elderly woman with a hot pink bedazzled jackets were making me wonder if I was in a David Lynch nightmare while I tore apart my little lobster friend limb by limb.

"Prisoners" Movie Review (Spoiler Alert!)

1. The best part of this movie is Jake Gyllenhaal’s hair. It’s slicked back for most of the movie, but there are these perfect moments when he is running, attacking someone, or yelling…and a beautiful strand of oily hair falls onto his forehead. Genius. The best hair acting I’ve ever seen!

2. Don’t trust what you’re watching. They waste over 30 minutes on distractions and useless plot points. 

3. That guy from “Little Miss Sunshine” plays a convincing pedophile. Too bad he didn’t actually molest those girls. (That is the first and last time I will ever say that sentence.)

4. If I had written this screenplay, Jake Gyllenhaal would’ve explained his twitch at some point because come on, really? Why are you doing that? Also, Hugh wouldn’t have been defeated by a 70 year old and quietly whistled in his underground cage like a little bitch. Hugh Jackman is not a little bitch, people. Have you seen Les Miserables? Last but not least, my biggest change would’ve been making it into an actual thriller! I expected scary. I got J.G. hair acting, which was delightful and not scary at all.

5. My pants were too tight during this movie, so maybe I’m biased, but I just didn’t get into it. And I had such huge expectations. HUGH!

Dominos: $5.99 Large Brooklyn Crust Pizza w/ Barbecue Sauce (Toppings: Ham, Chicken, and Mushrooms)

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1. Obviously, this is a fast, cheap, and easy meal choice.

2. Barbecue sauce adds a new experience to a played out, lazy dinner selection.

3. You will not lose weight while eating this pizza. Sorry.

4. If you’re a crust person, the Brooklyn crust is pretty damn good. The cheese is melted right up to the freshly baked crust and you won’t be disappointed.

5. For something so high in calories, you probably won’t be full for too long, so order a side salad or drink a ton of water with this tasty treat.